its freezing cold and it feels like i will never be warm again.
normally that makes me really happy but today im sad.
it sorta feels the way when you bury your face in the clean laundry just out of the dryer, still hot, and pull it away from your skin and your colder than you were before.
i feel like that on the inside.
i want to cry for the first time in months...but i cant let myself.
it would smear my eyeliner

why is everything wrong? how is it possible that i cant get anything right.
is this even real? am i going to wake up any second from being in a coma for 20 years and all this would have been a dream?

im aching and empty and raw. i havent felt like this in months. years in fact.
i want to do something. i want i want i want.
"i want to have fun and my own silver and candles and long hair. and since i cant have any of that i want a cat and i want it right now"

it feels like that all the time