once more with feeling

I have a few photos I want to upload, but I'm on my laptop and I cant seem to make myself get out of bed. I will just lay here and listen to music now that my speakers work again and think about how annoying it is to try to lose weight. I hate it. I dont want to talk about this anymore. I would actually like to go to sleep now. LOVE YOU
For those of you who have not found it yet, go to Tumblr.com. I never actually upload any of my own photos but I really love looking at the ones every one I follow has posted. They are mostly of tattoo's and fashion clips, and I cant even describe this burning desire in my chest that I want something new. I want tall expensive shoes and the skinniest jeans in creation. I want to never brush my hair again and I want my tattoo and I want to never have to eat again. I mean really, why does everything good in life have to be illegal, immoral and fattening? (thank you Nicole Richie)
I went to church last Sunday (UGH) and was told (via the speaker) that writing in a journal is a good thing, for posterity. I actually laughed out loud. If anyone read my journals, if I didnt burn them that is, they would have me committed. I usually only write when I am angry and from what I can even read, its really hateful and nasty stuff. I really dont think that my great great grand children want to fully realize what a crazy train I really am. I dont even want to know. I will continue to write things I dont want anyone to read and burn them when I get a book filled. Its extremely therapeutic, the act of burning things that I hate about myself.